I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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