well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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