walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize