the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize