We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
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it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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