ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Help. Why am I so naked?
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