it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
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Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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