If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
