i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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