Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Actions speak louder than pants.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.