I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
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Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
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I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I have so many feelings about this burrito