we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
