great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
