Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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