Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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