im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
