He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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