69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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