I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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