I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
