shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
