Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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