There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
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