Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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