he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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