If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize