They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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