I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
