so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
