it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
