the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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