He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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