It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
