i think my tv is drunk
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
