drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
