ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
tell me about the eggs
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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