been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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