We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize