Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
i now understand why vodka
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
