I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
