You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
