I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
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