I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize