I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
My ATM looks so different sober.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
