I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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