So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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