why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize