i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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