Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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