i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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