how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
