Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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