May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
