After last night, I could never be a politician.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
