im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I cannot find my penis.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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